Saturday Night's Main Event Review

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Hi fellow Combat-Hooligans and welcome to WWE Saturday Nights Main Event. This is the first time I have watched it since the late 80's early 90's. I have seen great wrestling matches that told a story and I have a feeling it won't be the same. So let's begin...............
Show opened with Coach and Vince. Vince wants to know who his child could be. Stephanie said it was a WWE superstar. Coach says he has a list. Guess we will see.
We have Jim Ross, JBL and Michael Cole doing the play by play.
They run down the crappy matches.
First match is Batista & Kane vs Great Khali and Finlay. Kane and Finlay start it out. Kane domanates Finlay and gets a quick two count. Tag was made and the Animal comes in and punishesFinlay and also gets a two count. Finlay is basically getting squashed. And we go to commercial. Thank god this match is over with. Dang it! Its back on. Khali is all over Kane.Khali sets the claw on Kanes ribs. This match is very painful to watch. Batista and Finlay are now going at it. Oh my god Hornswoggle came in to do something. They use him as a ram. Kane and Batista did a double choke slam on Khali. Batista hits his finisher on Finlay for the win.I give this match 1/2 stars
Vince looked into the mirror and saw a younger Vince, then Ron Simmons look at it and said"Damn".
MVP and Evander Holyfield are talking together.
Vince and Coach are in the ring. They call out suspects who Coach thinks it could be. So lets see who we have. First up is from Kentucky and its Eugene. I can see it. Both are retards, and both work for the WWE. Vince told Coach that he did not have sex with his cousin. But I think Euan might have. Next up is Melina. I bet Vince tapped that before and I was right. One more and its Steve Austin. The crowd explodes and goes nuts and Vince is scared. Give me a hell ya onetime people. Austin said he never knew he had a jacka** for a father. hmmmm. Vince said that there is NO chance in hell. Austin said that they never got to do anything together. Austin stiff punches Vince's crotch and gave Coach a stunner. Let the beer bash begin. This segment wenta little longer than I had wanted but why should I care. I am just a non wrestling fan who watches just for the skits. Vince then gets a stunner from Austin. Wow never saw that coming.Like I said it went longer than it should, but it was ok.
We came back and saw Holyfield warming up for his match.
John Cena vs Carlito is next. I hate Cena. I think he sucks. This is a total squash by Cena,and Carlito finally got a shot in as we go yet again into commercial. We can't do this during a skit but we can during a match. I am beginning to hate the WWE. They would never do this crapback in the 80's during a match. This is why ratings are down. They go to commercial during a match and we find something better to watch and never go back. Ok we are now back with Cena in control. And Cena puts the STFU on Carlito and he quits. It just got better folks. Orton came out and attacked Cena. Orton RKO'd Cena on to a chair that got bent to hel. And we see apoor orphan cry. Ha ha ha. The match was a dud and the RKO on Cena on a chair is five stars!!!!
Randy Orton was on tv. I would look like that if I lost weight.
Matt Hardy vs Evander is next. Michael Buffer to announce the contenders. The ref said that he is "fair but firm". Hmmm I bet Vince likes that. And we start off with Evander just killing Hardy with punches. Holyfield is toying with him. This match is not like any classic boxer vs wrestler match before. Round 2 starts and Holyfield does not want to hurt Hardy. MVP came inand sucker punched him. No winner was said. I think Evander won.My take 1/4 of a star
Next up is Boogeyman and Punk vs Big Daddy V and Morrison. I wonder when PETA is going to protest WWE for Boogieman eating worms. Punk and Morrison start it off. And guess what folks we went to yet another commercial. We know longer have wrestling on tv any more. We come back and Big Daddy is all over Boogieman. Both make the tag and Punk and Morrison are back in.Punk gets a quick cover for 2. Punk gets a small package on Morrison for the win. Then the show went off the air, they recapped what happen for the night and that was it.Gave the match 1/2 star.
In all we saw more skits and commercials than we did wrestling. That's why the fans don't watch it anymore on tv. It needs to get better. But I know it won't. I gave the whole show a waste of my time, DUD, no stars. And come Monday RAW won't be any better either. Thanks for reading and be HARDCORE


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