Mark Danger's 09/10 Raw Report
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Hi combat-hooligans and welcome to my RAW report. Tonight we will find out who is the bastard son of one Vincent K McMahon. So lets see how bad this show is going to be .........
The show opens with Vince and the Coachman heading to the ring. Vince said that it could happen to anybody. The crowd chanted "you suck" Vince said that Coachman dosen't suck. Vince said that Mr.Kennedy should be suspended for trying to be a McMahon. Vince then said that he needs to come out. First comes out the Great Khali, then came out JBL, then Jeff Hardy came out, and explain why they are Vinces son. Jeff was happy that Vince was not his daddy.
Vince then set up Jeff Hardy vs Great Khali.
But up next we have Paul London vs Lance Cade. In my opinion Lance Cade could be a great singles wrestler. Both wrestler start off strong. Lots of near falls by both men. This isa not bad opener, better than Brittney Spears lip snyc. Finish saw Trevor trying to hit London, but the ref caught him. That let Spanky to hit slice bread no.2 on Cade where London could get the cover. I gave this match 3 jars of mustard.
They showed a video of HHH hyping his new t-shirt for sale online. Funny.
J.R. and Jerry come out a recap what happen the other week. Then they showed Randy Orton killing Cena's daddy. Cena looked pissed and took out Regal.
Then we cut backstage and security was making sure Cena can't come in. Vince wants to know who his bastard son is. Coachman brings in Stevie Richards and tells him he is the number 2 pick from the WWE website. Vince then wanted to know who was number 1 and it was HHH.
Now J.R. and the King talk about HHH vs Carlito. They also show HHH killing Umaga.
Carlito was being talked to by Todd. Carlito mumbled and did not understand it. Hmmm
HHH then came out. I am glad he is back. I think he looks better then ever. So its nowHHH vs Shelton Benjamin. Carlito picked this match. What is up with Sheltons hair. Looking at him makes me want to sing the throng song. But back to the match. HHH domanates earlyon Shelton. Huge pops for HHH. Then HHH looked at Carlito and Shelton sneaked up but HHH threwhim on Carlito. Then we went to break. Then we come back and Shelton is in control. Lots of high spots from Shelton. I think Shelton should be in TNA and be in the X divison. HHH fires back and hits his finisher. Carlito tried to sneak in with a chair, HHH caught him and took it away from him. Coachman comes out and says its a NO DQ for Carlito but not HHH. Now I think that Vince Russo must had booked this. But anyway I gave this match 2 jars of mustard.
As we head to break Randy Orton is walking out.
Randy Orton is now heading to the ring, I wished I had his body. Maybe I need to see hisDr. Randy Orton talks about Cena and his father. Orton talks about Cenas dads head is throbing. Orton talks about at Unforgiven would be his 1 yr title run. Orton said when he hurt Cena's fathers head but said he got into Cenas head. Cena then came out and jumped Orton. The event staff held him back and Orton took cover.
Now we go to the back with Coachman and Vince. Vince is all over Coachman for this to happen.
 Then Vince got in Cenas face. Cena tried to cut a promo, but he started to cry like the b*tch he is.
Now we have the Diva Candice Michelle coming out. She sits at ring side for Mickie James vs Jillian Hall. Before this match starts its already boring. I am right. This match is very sloppy. The crowd is dead for this. Please let this match end. Mickie won before everyone went to sleep. Beth then came out and attacked Mickie James. Then Candice came in and Beth humbled her. I gave this match a mustard packet.
They hype its getting closer to finding out who Vince's son is. Boy I can't wait fot this.
Santino came out and runned his mouth till Sandman came out. Sandman faked an injury while Ron Simmons and Maria watched from the back. The crowd chants boring. Santino grabbed Sandmans cane and beat him with it. Sandman won by dq. I gave this match Hold the mustard please.
Up next is Jeff Hardy vs Great Khali.
Santino attacked Ron as Maria was ready to break it off with him.
Now we have a Diva search break. Boring
So Great Khali is in the ring waiting for Jeff Hardy. Khali is swatting Hardy around. At this point the crowd is now dead. Khali put the vice grip on Hardy. Khali threw him down and got the pin. I gave this match Hold the Mustard. Wait a second here The Animal has came out and the crowd is waken up. The Animal speard Khali and he let the ring. Nice wayto hype the match for Sunday.
Vince and Coachman walk towards the ring as we go to break. Vince comes out and leads the        entire WWE wokers of all brands out to the ring. We found out that his son is not Extreme, has a fondness of gold, your sons skin is fair as his hair, your son is an individual, and loves to play the game if its hide or seek or marbles, and out comes Hornswaggle. HHH is laughing his butt off. Vince does not look happy. I think I saw Hornswaggle hump Vinces leg. I gave this segment 2 and 3/4 jars of mustard.
In all this show was better than I thought it would be. They hyped the matches for Sunday. We will see how the ratings rate this. So if you saw this show tell us what you thought. Also you can leave me a message at myspace, and while there read some of my blogs. Till later  gators be HARDCORE
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