Pub Discussion: WWE's Great American Bash 2007 Predictions

A new site, a new name for the roundtable preview. If you hate it let me know in the comments.

Casey: Tonight is the Great American I’d rather have you Bash my head in with a tire iron than watch this crap. God bless Euan for covering this show, I take back every bad thing I’ve ever said about…someone other than Euan.

Art: I'm Art Shimko... and I'm lovin' life. (Note from Casey: I really laughed hard at this)

Euan: (Note from Casey, Euan Wade and Scott could only be bothered with winners. I do not blame them.)

Danger: These are my Danger Picks for a pay per view called the Great American Bash. I can tell you already that I haven't seen the show and it already sucks. My favorite Irish mate Euan Taylor is covering this. Note to Euan this is what you get for doing the podcast drunk.

Cruiserweight Open:
Jamie Noble Vs. Shannon Moore Vs. Funaki Vs. Jimmy Wang Yang Vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Casey: Never used, jobber, jobber, cowboy, perpetually doomed to feud with Rey Mysterio for the rest of eternity.
Winner: Chavo Guerrero

Art: I love how these matches are thrown in at the very last minute, either being announced on Smackdown, WWE's website or just slapped on the GAB t-shirt unbeknownst to anyone. Chavo wins

Euan: Winner, Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Scott: Winner, Chavo Guerrero

Wade: Winner, Jimmy Wang Yang

Danger: Jamie Noble vs Shannon Moore vs Funaki vs Jimmy Wang Chung vs Chavo.
I don't know why this is a match but I will pick Chavo. This could be the restroom break of the night.
Winner Chavo

Singapore Cane on a Pole match:
Carlito Vs. Sandman

Casey: Vince Russo got his job back with WWE I see. I can’t wait to read all of Euan’s pole jokes. As for a winner, I really don’t care.
Winner: Carlito

Art: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....

I'd go for Sandman winning just because I don't give a fuck...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....

Euan: Winner, Sandman

Scott: Winner, Carlito

Wade: Winner, Carlito

Danger: I think Vince Russo did book this crap. I could care less about this match. So my winner is Carlito.

Bullrope Match:
Randy Orton Vs. Dusty Rhodes

Casey: One person is going to win this match and the other is going to be Dusty Rhodes.
Winner: Randy Orton

Art: Dusty=legend, RKO=legend killer... RKO wins.

Euan: Winner, Randy Orton

Scott: Winner, Randy Orton

Wade: Winner, Randy Orton

Danger: I forsee that Randy will just beat the dust off of Dusty. You have a legend killer vs man who wine and dine with king and queens and eat pork in beans. Randy has to win in this match. For him to lose this match will kill any title match in the future. Look for Cody coming in and causing daddy to lose. So my winner is RKO Randy Orton.

Women's Championship:
Melina Vs. Candice Michelle

Casey: At least its not a diva search, but hasn’t this match been on 60 PPVs in a row now?
Winner: Candice Michelle

Art: Anyone know where Victoria's at?? (Note from Casey: She was drafted to SD cause that made sense and mysteriously, nobody cares)I suppose...

Euan: Winner, Candice Michelle

Scott: Winner, Melina

Wade: Winner, Candice Michelle

Danger: Candice is a good push. I see her keeping the title for another month or two. This could be the sloppest match of the night. But Candice will win by dq due to Beth something coming in. Winner Candice Michelle

United States Championship Match:
Matt Hardy Vs. MVP

Casey: Both the Hardies are challenging for second tear belts nobody cares about. I’m really starting to like MVP.
Winner: MVP

Art: Should be a decent match, MVP goes over

Euan: Winner, MVP

Scott: Winner, MVP

Wade: Winner, MVP

Danger: Euans favorite match will be MVP vs Matt Hardy for the US Championship. MVP is money. Matt Hardy is NOT a US Champion. MVP will out wrestle him and make Matt look like a chump that he is. My winner is MVP

Intercontinental Championship:
Umaga Vs. Jeff Hardy

Casey: Jeff Hardy is doomd…but I suspect he’s too drugged up to care. Hardy may win by DQ or something but Umaga will win the war.
Winner: Jeff Hardy (DQ)

Art: A death squash damn-it-to-hell match with Jeff being the poor little runt bastard who plunders to unconciousness... get me UMAGA~!!!

Euan: Winner, Umaga

Scott: Winner, Umaga

Wade: Winner, Umaga

Danger: This will be a total squash match. Umaga will win hands down. Umaga is a monster and can't be stoped. My winner is Umaga

ECW Championship Match:
CM Punk Vs. John Morrison

Casey: John Morrison is back? I thought he was dead. I love that song, “Come on Baby, light my fire” its wonderful. I don’t know how Morrison will handle himself after being dead for so long, and actually appearing on ECW is probably a step down from death.
Winner: John Morrison

Art: You know what would be awesome? If Johnny "Don't Call Me Jim" Morrison came out to that Armageddon theme which is a rip off of The Doors' epic song "The End", maybe it's just me. Anyway, I can't see Punk winning the title just yet, hopefully that's saved for a more prominent event. (note from Casey: like raw for example) Morrison retains.

Euan: Winner, John Morrison

Scott: Winner, John Morrison

Wade: Winner, John Morrison

Danger: In the New ECW Crap match for a title that no longer means anything we have C.M. Punk vs John Morrison. I see Punk winning this match but no winning the title. John will cheat and win in what will be the best match of the night. Winner C.M.Punk by DQ

World Championship Match:
Batista Vs. Kane Vs. Great Khali

Casey: God help us all and won’t someone think of the children? This will be a very bad encounter and I’m almost envious that Euan will get to make all the jokes. Looking at this, I wonder who will job? Here’s a hint it won’t be Batista or Khali. I think Khali should keep the belt because I want Khali-Batista at Summerslam in a 10 minute Ironman match. 10 minutes will seem like 10 days so that’s the tie-in. One more thing about this match, Euan Tayler was 22.
Winner: Great Khali

Art: You know why I never plunk out the forty clams for a WWE pay-per-view?? At times it's because of bullshit like this. How many buys increased when this was booked? Who's going to carry this match?? Oh god please help me... Khali, who was abandoned at the Red Robin~!

Euan: Winner, The Great Khali

Scott: Winner, Batista

Wade: Winner, Kane

Danger: This is another worst match of the night. I wish someone would give me drugs and put the misery out by the time this match comes. Look for Kane to win. For Great Khali keeping the title that long will be stupid. Winner and new Smackdown champion till he gets hurt in the ring Kane.

WWE Championship Match:
Bobby Lashley Vs. John Cena

Casey: Who cares?
Winner: John Cena

Art: Two *naturally* huge dudes in the main event... I too am going with Cena just for the fuck of it, he's at least more over than Blandy Lashley.

Euan: Winner, Bobby Lashley

Scott: Winner, Bobby Lashley

Wade: Winner, Bobby Lashley

Danger: For the love of God who is suspended due to wellness, please let Lashley win. He is the uncrown champion. He never lost the ECW belt and I think he would be a better RAW champion. My winner and new WWE Champion Bobby Lashley.

Casey: I’m not paying for this crap and I promise my ShowXC roundtable will be much more entertaining and probably less informative.

Art: I'm Art Shimko... and I'm hatin' WWE.